Learning To Be

“The biggest mistake I made as a parent is the one that most of us make. . .I did not live in the moment. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get to the next thing. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”  Anna Quindlen
on the water

Every once in a while the time comes when I need to be a little vulnerable on here.  Yes, even on a public blog.  Why, you might ask?  Well, I do it out of obedience, thinking that maybe it will also speak to someone out there.

God has been pinpointing this particular area in my life for some time now, and that is learning to be, treasuring the moment, slowing down my busyness.  It’s hard for me.  I’m such a busybody.  I seriously don’t understand the term, “I’m bored,” because to me, there’s always something that needs to be done.  We explored why on a recent coaching session.  I don’t really know why.  I’ve always been this way.  My husband thinks it has to do with the satisfaction I get from completing something.

learning to be
my “learning to be” photo

That may well be right, but the problem is that somewhere along the way, my priorities got off slightly.  In my pursuit of completing, my family suffered.  It is hard for me to admit that, but it’s true.  2009 was the busiest year for me in ministry since I had kids.  I led a training school.  It was fabulous, and I don’t doubt I was supposed to do it, but you see, I didn’t have good patterns in my life, and my drive for excellence and completion had a somewhat negative impact on those that I love most.  It literally grieves me.    

Sabbatical is such a great time to work on some upgrades, to develop some patterns in life so that no matter the season, busy or calm, they will be there.  And that’s what I’m working on.  I don’t doubt that I will have most posts on this as God continues to speak to me.  I always hesitate sharing my personal struggles, because I so want this to be a place where you find refreshment and a smile, but I still pray that you leave this post feeling just that! 

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