thirteen blissful years :: our secret

Today is my thirteenth wedding anniversary. Thirteen years. I can’t believe Jeremy and I have been married that long. It seriously feels like it was yesterday. There’s absolutely no one else I would rather spend time with than my lover. Thirteen years is not even close to fifty or sixty years, and there are many more couples more qualified than us, but there’s some keys we’ve learned along the way that we wanted to share with you on what has worked for us and brought us closer together year after year.

We’re willing to say “I’m sorry.” A lot! I think one of the pitfalls of marriage is when a spouse holds on to grudges and hurts. I’ll be the first to admit that saying sorry is not something I necessarily enjoy doing except for the sake of relationship. It’s worth it a thousand times over. We take it one step further and not only say “I’m sorry” but also “I forgive you” or “Will you forgive me?” It’s one thing to be sorry about something. It’s an entirely different thing to let go and forgive. It tears down so many walls. There’s power in that.

We trust each other completely. We all have insecurities that rise up. When one of us is feeling insecure in the relationship, we talk about it. If I feel Jeremy is frustrated with me, I simply ask him. It’s amazing how many times that frustration is because of something else. Instead of me getting angry, I can be sympathetic and encouraging and if he is frustrated with me, it opens an avenue for discussing it.

We respect and honor one another, especially in public. We’re not perfect, but it’s just not right to disrespect your spouse, even if he or she has done something that makes you angry. Treating each other with honor and respect speaks value and love.

We try to understand each other. Jeremy has a lot of ideas. He can dream up an idea for everything. It’s quite incredible actually. He says his most successful ones are the ones where I bought in. I used to get overwhelmed with his ideas, because there were so many. Realizing it is a part of who Jeremy is, I wanted to put aside my being overwhelmed to really understand his heart and back him. However, in that process, I give my honest opinion instead of a pat, “That’s great, honey.” He trusts that I will be honest which in turn, he says, “pushes him to be better and love me more.”

So looking forward to many, many more years with this man!

What’s your secret for wedded bliss?